Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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