Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
