there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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