Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
