Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
