worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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