After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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