new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
