Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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