why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
