Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
