Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
