Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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