Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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