So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
