What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
