drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
