Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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