My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
