Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
