to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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