he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
