are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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