Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
