OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm just crazy horny about you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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