I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
