Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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