Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize