Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
