I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
