I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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