Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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