found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
