Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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