I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
