hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
