He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
