he puts the penis in happiness.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
