im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize