some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
