Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im six kinds of drunk right now
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize