when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
