lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
