Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
