He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
