is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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