Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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