That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
