just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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