Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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