drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
