I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
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I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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