you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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