my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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