I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
