My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
