The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize