I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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