just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
