I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
