I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
