I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
