Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
