hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
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Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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