I wish I only lived at night.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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